Breaking the Image

Some days, I feel like a failure.  Why is it so easy to fail?

These are the days I want to avoid the mirror.  Not necessarily because of how much I weigh, or any physical flaw; I only wish to delay the personal scrutiny that inevitably follows when I study my reflection.  I can be very unkind to myself.

When I’m feeling downtrodden and discouraged and I look into the mirror, that’s when the voices come out.

You are worthless.

You will never do anything.

You will never be anyone.

You will never change.

You are weak.

*Sigh*

It is truly remarkable how easy it is to agree with yourself.

Of course I am all of these things! Look at how easily I fail!

Yes, those are sad days.  The image in the mirror has won.

But you know what?

There are days where I fight back.  I may have failed that day, but I am not a failure.

When those thoughts start swirling in my head, I look in the mirror, and I let that image know a few things.

I am not worthless.

I will do everything.

I am someone.

I have already changed.

I am not weak.

I grab ahold of that image, and I break it.

I shatter it on the floor.

I stomp on it until it turns to dust beneath my feet.

That is not me anymore.

On this day, I have won.

Unfortunately, I know that I will not always win.  That image will find its way back into the mirror another day. 

There are days where I will feel worthless, and I will feel weak.

But as time goes on, I grow stronger.

And I realize that if I am able to get up every day and work on the things that I want to change… well, it’s not very likely that I was weak in the first place.